The friends who just fade away absolutely break our hearts. We notice when people disappear, and we know it’s usually because they just don’t know what to say or do. We wish people wouldn’t fade away, even if they feel awkward.
In the beginning, after your diagnosis goes public, everyone seems so concerned and the offers of “whatever you need, just ask” come pouring in.
That feels good.
Speaking for myself, I was too shocked and overwhelmed to even know what to ask for. I was also completely out of practice. I was always the one helping others. So, asking for help was not something I was going to do. I had a friend who asked several times to come clean my house…it needed it. Yet, I said no, though I really appreciated the offers. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up myself.
Then the time comes when you really do need something. A ride to your treatment, someone to pick up milk at the store for you because you can’t drive, etc. You reach out… swallow your pride and ask for help.
All those friends… are busy.
Sure, there are a few that stick by you. I have a small circle of friends who are there when I need them, even now. I am so grateful to those friends.
The others have faded away.
.
This is number 7 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.
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