1. Money Stress is Real

Everyone talks about surviving the disease, but no one prepares you for the massive financial hit. Cancer treatment is insanely expensive.

2. Your Job Might Not Be Safe

While it is rarely discussed in the cancer community, keeping your job is a valid and terrifying challenge. Your employer might just make a “business decision” to let you go because of your health, even if you’re a great worker.

3. “Remission” Isn’t What You Think

You just want a doctor to say you’re “cured,” but the medical world doesn’t really work like that. Instead, doctors use the term “No Evidence of Disease” (NED), which just means the scans can’t spot any cancer at this exact moment.

4. The Agony of “Scanxiety”

No one truly prepares you for the sheer terror of waiting for test results. This is so common that it has its own name. “Scanxiety” is the intense stress and worry you feel before, during, and after your imaging scans.

5. The Side Effects Are Bizarre

Chemotherapy and radiation cause unpredictable physical changes that go far beyond standard nausea or fatigue. The list is long.

6. Friendships Shift and It Gets Lonely

Having cancer changes how you interact with the people closest to you. A lot of friends won’t know what to say or how to act, so they just quietly fade away.

7. You Have to Find a “New Normal”

The hardest pill to swallow is that you can’t and won’t bounce back to the exact person you used to be. Cancer permanently changes how you view your life, your money, your time, and what is truly important.

If you’re newly diagnosed, I know how overwhelming those first days can feel.

That’s why I wrote NOT BROKEN: The Unfiltered Daily Truth in Fighting Cancer.

It’s the book I wish I had when I was trying to process the diagnosis, navigate treatment, and hold onto myself through it all.

If this article resonated with you, the book goes deeper into the day-to-day realities of cancer - honestly, practically, and without filters.

Get your copy of NOT BROKEN here → www.Amazon.com/dp/B0GT2G4S3D

“Chemo brain” is very real and makes us feel mentally incompetent. It’s a heavy brain fog that messes with our memory, focus, and concentration. We often feel like we are fumbling more than we care to admit, making us feel like our own minds have betrayed us.

If you’ve ever felt like your mind has completely betrayed you during cancer treatment, you aren’t going crazy. This is a common condition called chemo brain which is also known as brain fog. It is a very real, recognized side effect that causes serious cognitive difficulties. It may affect your memory, concentration, and focus, making it incredibly hard to think clearly or do anything that requires any mental effort.

It’s frustrating and invisible, making it hard for the folks around us to understand what we are going through.

Brain fog can make handling your bills and common transactions feel impossible. (I screwed up my taxes..ugh). It can blur your decision-making capacity when you are trying to make treatment decisions. In NOT BROKEN The Unfiltered Daily Truth in Fighting Cancer, I share exactly how this side effect led to endless typos in my personal journal and left me feeling mentally incompetent. It is a terrifying reality, and it is absolutely not imagined or exaggerated.

The most important thing to know is that experiencing this is completely normal with chemo. When riding this rollercoaster of cancer treatments, give yourself grace. If you’re battling a limited attention span, struggling with short-term memory issues, or trying to find your way through the fog, dive into NOT BROKEN to feel seen, safe, and validated in the unfiltered truth of fighting cancer.

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This is number 9 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

You’ll receive:
• Selected resources and updates in cancer care

• Perspectives from lived experiences
• Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship

Having a job and working through this cancer journey is often a necessity. Many of us are terrified of losing our jobs, so we hide our diagnosis from employers out of fear of being fired. We push ourselves to work not just for a sense of normalcy, but because we absolutely must survive financially.

The guilt of lying by omission is emotionally hard too.

I hid my diagnosis from my employer for 2 years until I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. I got lucky, I guess, because while I was in treatment, I broke my foot. (yeah, that sucked too). When I told my employer that I needed time off for surgery, I never told them it was colon resection surgery. They assumed it was foot surgery and I never corrected them.

When I needed lung surgery, I felt that I had to tell them because I was going to be in the hospital for a while and recovery was going to be longer. When I said I had cancer, they assumed lung cancer and that it was a new diagnosis. I never corrected them.

Was this dishonest?

Probably but I knew that when they learned I had cancer, I would be fired.

And I was.

I shouldn’t have told them. I should have asked for vacation time.

Certainly, they did not say it was cancer related but I know it was as they helped me find a temporary job for a few weeks after and wished me well. You know, the no hard feelings kind of sendoff. It wasn’t my ability to do the job. It’s a longer story that I talk about in my book, NOT BROKEN The Unfiltered Daily Truth in Fighting Cancer.

The point here is that so many employers don’t understand that having cancer does not make us incapable of working. Having cancer does not mean that we are dying. We don’t have to be replaced.

Finding a new job has been equally hard because of those same inaccurate assumptions.

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This is number 8 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

The friends who just fade away absolutely break our hearts. We notice when people disappear, and we know it’s usually because they just don’t know what to say or do. We wish people wouldn’t fade away, even if they feel awkward.

In the beginning, after your diagnosis goes public, everyone seems so concerned and the offers of “whatever you need, just ask” come pouring in.

That feels good.

Speaking for myself, I was too shocked and overwhelmed to even know what to ask for. I was also completely out of practice. I was always the one helping others. So, asking for help was not something I was going to do. I had a friend who asked several times to come clean my house…it needed it. Yet, I said no, though I really appreciated the offers. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up myself.

Then the time comes when you really do need something. A ride to your treatment, someone to pick up milk at the store for you because you can’t drive, etc. You reach out… swallow your pride and ask for help.

All those friends… are busy.

Sure, there are a few that stick by you. I have a small circle of friends who are there when I need them, even now. I am so grateful to those friends.

The others have faded away.

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This is number 7 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

• You’ll receive:
  Selected resources and updates in cancer care

  Perspectives from lived experiences

  Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship

We hide our deepest, darkest fears because we want to protect you. We see the emotional pain this diagnosis causes our loved ones, and we don’t want to be a burden. We often keep the full, terrifying reality of our thoughts private, so we don’t scare you.

You know that we are in treatment, and you imagine how difficult that is. I am sorry to say that you don’t really know, and we don’t share that heaviness with you.

You don’t see the mental battle we fight just to walk into the infusion room. Even driving up to the building can trigger a full-blown panic attack. The noise. The depression all around us. The IV pump. The sad, sick people all around us. The helpless feeling of being hooked up to something that’s supposed to be saving our lives while it destroys parts of us at the same time.

The poison that runs through our bodies. Those toxic chemicals that are so bad that our nurses need to be masked up, gloved up and gowned up because they need protection.

You don’t see the hours we spend with the fear of the unknown.

You don’t see how hard it is to be strong, to be grateful, to be a good patient, when all we really want to do is scream.

And we’re not going to tell you.

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This is number 6 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

• You’ll receive:
  Perspectives from lived experiences
  Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship

  Selected resources and updates in cancer care

Is This Cancer Killing me?

Are you scared? Of course you are. No one wants to be wondering if this is how they’re going to die. Having cancer IS a constant fear of dying.

No one can answer that question either. The medical community will talk all about treatment options and ways to make side effects easier to manage. They won’t volunteer your chances of survival because they really don’t know. Everyone responds differently to treatment. Your journey is unique.

For me, I had to push my doctor into confirming that I had a 14% chance of survival. THAT is a scary percentage. It felt like the ground had suddenly given way beneath me, leaving me numb. The future vanished in an instant, replacing it entirely with overwhelming terror. I know, I know… survival percentages are general statistics and not a definitive prediction. Yet, I was scared. "

“Cancer is not going to beat me.” That was my battle cry. I am going to have to fight and fight hard.

Even in that darkness, hope survives. That percentage cannot account for the strength of the human spirit. There are countless individuals who defy the odds. The road ahead will be terrifying, but a fierce will to live and the support of others will lead the way to remarkable resilience and prayerfully, remission.

Do You Ever Google Your Diagnosis?

Let’s be completely honest here. Soon after you hear a cancer diagnosis, the very first thing you probably want to do is reach for your phone or your laptop and search the internet. I know that I did.

The confusing, terrifying limbo of “NED”.

YAY. We have been waiting months or maybe years to hear this. It has finally happened and we tell our family and friends. What they hear is that the cancer is gone, not understanding that NED (no evidence of disease) does not mean that the cancer is gone. That NED does not mean that we’re in remission. They think we are now back to our old selves, back to normal. We are not.

How do we explain that NED means that I am in an indefinite state of apprehension and fear, yet grateful for this absolutely positive news? That cancer cells could still be lingering. That we are happy for one minute and worried as hell the next.

Cancer is an emotional rollercoaster even when the scans come back clear.

Have you struggled with explaining NED to your friends and family?

We, most other cancer patients, completely understand why some patients just want to give up. The physical suffering, the emotional rollercoaster, and the constant fear can make the battle feel unbearable. We now understand the debate of quality of life versus quantity, and we will never again judge anyone who decides to stop their treatment.

For many, they have been given a deadline, an educated estimate of how much time they have left. For others, we have been given a life expectancy percentage. For me, I was given a 14% chance of surviving 5 years. (It’ll be 4 years in September).

I’ll be honest, the physical and emotional toll of cancer treatments, chemo, radiation, etc. is so hard, sometimes unbearable. When we have such low odds of success, we wonder if it is all worth it?

Giving up is the single most difficult decision a person can make. They have answered for themselves the question on every cancer patient’s mind…Am I going to Die? By giving up, they have made that decision for themselves and have decided to have the best quality of life they can, while they can.

I understand.

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This is number 5 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud.The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

While I was in the hospital recovery from a colon resection surgery, one of my nurses tried to kill me. OK, I am exaggerating but at the time, it felt that way. I was getting potassium through my IV, which can be extremely painful. The previous nurses all diluted the drip by combining it with other medications to reduce the pain. This devil nurse insisted that the potassium had to be given straight for the next 8 hours. On a pain scale, that’s a 9, bordering 11.

I screamed and yelled and threatened to call my doctor and have her removed. Someone finally came and diluted the drip. It’s now in my hospital record that I threatened a nurse. Oh well.

If something isn’t right, make them make it right.”

Be your own biggest advocate.

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NOT BROKEN The Unfiltered Daily Truth in Fighting Cancer is filled with “Practical Notes” to help you navigate the confusing, overwhelming world of oncology and take control of your treatment. Tag someone who needs this empowering reminder today!

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The loneliest part of cancer isn’t that you feel like you are fighting this by yourself. The loneliest part of cancer is being alone in your head. This invisible part is so hard for me.

It is lying awake at 3AM thinking about everything that you don’t know how to explain, that you’re too scared to say out loud. It is the deep secrets you keep from others. It’s trying to be strong for your family so that they don’t feel your pain while you are quietly falling apart inside.

It’s feeling like your life is paused while everyone else is moving on. It’s the fear of isolation because you are no longer actively involved. It’s saying that you’re fine when you are definitely not fine.

It’s the realization that you speak two languages: the one that protects your loved ones, and the terrifying truth you keep to yourself.

If you’ve been hit by cancer, what are some of the deep secrets that you keep to yourself?

• You’ll receive:
  • Selected resources and updates in cancer care

  • Perspectives from lived experiences
  • Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship.

The well-meaning “stay strong” clichés aren’t always helpful. Before our own diagnosis, we probably said the same stupid things like “thankfully they caught it early” or “you’ve got this” to our friends and family with cancer.

When people hear cancer, they panic. They want to fix it and to give you hope. They reach for canned messaging because this is terrifying. Sadly, these sayings give us an opposite reaction. They often make us feel that being terrified, exhausted, or devastated is a sign of weakness or failure. They imply they we have control over an unpredictable disease. They force us to hide our misery to make the people around us feel more comfortable.

We know they mean well and we love them for trying. It’s hard for anyone to truly understand this level of fear unless they have lived through it themselves.

True support isn’t about finding the perfect, poetic thing to say. It is about being willing to sit in the dark with someone, so they don’t have to be alone.

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This is number 4 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

Join in… Here is where I share reflections, insights, and perspectives on navigating cancer and recovery,

• You’ll receive:
  • Selected resources and updates in cancer care

• • Perspectives from lived experiences
  • Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship

Because cancer treatment is not a visible hurt, like a broken leg, folks don’t know when you need help.” Don’t be afraid to ask. Keep your requests simple and specific. For example, I can’t open this jar to feed my cat. Would you please stop by? Or maybe, I’m out of milk and can’t drive right now. Would you grab some for me on your way over?

If you know someone going through treatment, remember that just because they might look okay doesn’t mean they aren’t absolutely exhausted. Please do not assume they can do any of the things they used to do. Offer to help, even with the little things. Instead of asking if you could come clean their house, (they will say no), ask if you could stop by for a visit and while you’re there grab a broom.

Check in on your loved ones today—sometimes a simple text makes all the difference.

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§ If you’ve ever sat in the infusion chair and felt entirely alone, this book is for you. Read the full, unfiltered story here: Amazon.com/dp/B0GT2G4S3D

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• You’ll receive:
  Perspectives from lived experiences
  Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship

  Selected resources and updates in cancer care

Sometimes we desperately wish you would talk about literally anything other than cancer. We already think about it all day long. Sometimes, we just need the distraction of a completely normal conversation.

An idea might be to create a “no cancer” safe word. When you say it, all medical talk stops immediately, and everyone must talk about something easy like gossip, TV shows, or what the dog did today.

This is number 3 in a series of things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

No one truly prepares you for the sheer terror of waiting for test results. This is so common that it has its own name.

· “Scanxiety” is the intense stress and worry you feel before, during, and after your imaging scans.

· Waiting days or weeks for a doctor to read your results can leave you completely panicked and emotionally wrecked.

It’s the fear before, during, and after scans — the “what if it’s back?” loop that hijacks your mind until you get results. We live with constant scanxiety and the looming uncertainty that the cancer got worse. If we are in remission, did it come back?

Those tests and scans give us a picture of our health. We want to know. We need to know. We hate this.

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We are terrified of losing our independence. We might need help with everything, but we hate having to actually ask for it. It’s a new and difficult emotional struggle, especially if we are used to being the ones taking care of others.

Be patient with everyone. They don’t truly know what you are dealing with and it’s hard for folks to see your changes. Asking for help is hard especially when those you are asking don’t understand.

We know we need help. Asking for help sometimes bring home our feelings of insecurity and depression.

These are:

Things caregivers and loved ones really need to hear, even if we don’t always have the courage to say them out loud. The unfiltered truth about what we are going through.

Buy your book Here

You’ll receive:
• Selected resources and updates in cancer care

• Perspectives from lived experiences
• Reflections on treatment, recovery, and survivorship

Below is a May 4, 2021 article reposted from the Colorectal Cancer Alliance announcing the appointment of “Today” Co-Host and News Anchor Craig Melvin to its Board of Directors.

Since 2017, when his brother Lawrence Meadows was diagnosed with stage IV colorectal cancer at the age of 39, Craig Melvin has been a national advocate. Craig Melvin has been active in supporting the organization in honor of his brother, by being a spokesperson for awareness campaigns.

Today Show Co-Anchor Craig Melvin Joins Colorectal Cancer Alliance Board of Directors | Colorectal Cancer Alliance

In March, 2026, on the Today Show, Craig Melvin announced a new line of cancer awareness clothing to raise funds for colon cancer research through the Colorectal Cancer Alliance.

These items are available from the TODAY Official Fan Shop - NBCUniversal Merchandise.

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About the Colorectal Cancer Alliance

The Colorectal Cancer Alliance is a national nonprofit committed to ending colorectal cancer. They support the needs of patients and families, caregivers, and survivors by raisng awareness of preventive screening; and funding critical research. For more information, visit colorectalcancer.org.

Take care of YOU. A little practical advice from someone who has been in the infusion chair: “Before you start chemo, I highly recommend that you eat ALL your favorite foods in whatever quantity you want. Now is not the time to be worried about adding a few pounds.”

Chemo changes your taste buds and sometimes your ability to eat much at all. There is no telling if you’ll be able to eat or like your favorites again anytime soon.

What was your ultimate comfort food during treatment? Let’s hear it in the comments! 🍕🍩

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Pick Up the book NOW!

“A profoundly moving memoir about resilience and perseverance. A heart-wrenching and honest book, focusing on the ‘hidden’ emotions of cancer” ~ Gloria

“An amazing story/advice book. Extremely easy to read. I laughed, I cried, I pondered… everything you want in a book. The author speaks to you in “normal” everyday communication while educating you. A must read for everyone going through any health issues. I loved it” - Debbie

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This is a short video with what I pray is a promising future for cancer treatment. They claim to be able to evaluate risks to determine who needs chemo and who doesn’t by using AI to analyize cancer tissue samples.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/this-ai-tool-could-spare-cancer-patients-from-chemotherapy-they-don-t-need/vi-AA1SmgYA?ocid=socialshare

When you’re fighting cancer, it’s incredibly hard to share the ugly parts. When asked, we say ‘I’m fine, just tired’ but there is so much more that we do not say. So much more that they will never understand, so we don’t try. How can they grasp what we are dealing with when they have nothing to relate it to?

(book excerpt) “My CaringBridge journal are the thoughts and feelings that I felt comfortable sharing with the world, but it is not the full story. The full story is intimidating and embarrassing to tell.”

NOT BROKEN The Unfiltered Daily Truth in Fighting Cancer strips away the false positivity and shares the raw, unspoken truth of a cancer diagnosis. It tells the story of what it’s really like to have cancer and what we really go through, emotionally and physically.

Have you ever hidden your physical or emotional pain to protect others? Drop a 💙 below if you understand.